Emotional Skills that Make a Good Partner

Amy Taylor September 09, 2013

When looking for a partner, we should not only focus on how they look, how successful they are or how smart they are. Above all, we should consider how they emotionally respond to various situations. Give it enough time to get to know a potential partner and check whether he or she has the following emotional skills that are important for a successful relationship.

Emotion Control

Do they punch the wall when they are angry? Do they nag at you in front of many people? We all get furious once in a while but this does not mean that we should forget about ‘good manners’ and behave inappropriately. A good partner is one who is able to control his or her emotions. You don’t want to end up marrying someone who has the potential of being violent.

Resilience

Are they able to overcome downfalls and move on in life with a sheer of hope? Or do they hold grudges to people who have wronged them and the difficulties they have gone through? When working on a task or project, do they quit as soon as they get to a difficult point or are they willing to experience the discomfort and go all the way until they achieved their goals? Resilience is what protects a relationship from being destroyed despite a plethora of challenges.

Ability to Acknowledge Mistakes

Do they say ‘sorry’ when they’ve hurt someone or do they deny any responsibility for the mistakes they do? Are they able to admit their flaws and be humble enough to accept its consequences? Sometimes, it is really hard to acknowledge our shortcomings but it is what is right and proper. After all, no one in this world was born perfect.

Empathy

Are they able to empathise with others or are they too absorbed about their own feelings and emotions? Empathy is what creates a deeper connection between two people in a romantic relationship. Both partners should be able to understand and connect with one another especially during difficult moments.

Supportiveness

Are they happy about your own success? Do they push you to become a better person or do they hinder you from achieving your personal goals and dreams in life? A good partner is one who supports the other of his or her endeavours and does not get jealous or insecure.

Optimism

Do they see the glass half empty or half full? Optimism is essential to the longevity and success of a relationship. It makes one resilient and able to overcome difficulties in life. A longitudinal study reviewed by Stanford University found that optimistic people and their romantic partners are more satisfied in their relationships.

Ability to Take Responsibility of their Own Emotions

Do they blame other people for their own miseries? Do they count on you to improve their mood when they feel bad? Do they deal with stress in positive ways? Taking responsibility for one’s own actions is a healthy practice and is critical to the success of a romantic relationship.

Ability to Delay Gratification

Do they spend more on unimportant things than the important ones? Do they focus on short-term goals rather than the long-term? The famous “marshmallow study” suggests that children who delayed gratification tend to be more successful in life. The ability to prioritise things based on their importance is essential, particularly in marriage.

Ability to Express Intimate Emotions

The ability to show and validate tender loving emotions is important in personal relationships. It serves as the fire that keeps your relationship burning and thriving. Being vocal and expressive of the love one feels for his or her significant other creates deeper emotional connection, trust and security in the relationship.