Do You Feel You Are Not Doing Good Enough?
Are you always contended of the outcome of your work? Or do you feel that you are not doing well enough? Most often, our personal standards are manifestations of our deepest beliefs, values, and ideals. But sometimes, they are a result of something else, like the unrealistically high expectations other people require from us.
Are you a perfectionist?
Perfectionist people strive to do things high above the standard criteria. Whilst the purpose is a good one (perhaps impressing a superior or wanting to make other people satisfied), being perfectionist may compel people to put considerably more effort into tasks than is rationally justified. For instance, you may spend hours polishing a report over and over again even if it already met the requirements of your superior. Unfortunately, you could miss other important tasks and miss deadlines. That is, you could end up managing your time and resources poorly. What’s more, striving for “flawlessness” can make you anxious and could lead to frustration and disappointment once you have not reached what you expected of yourself.
Another downside of perfectionism is that it makes a person more likely to procrastinate. When there are things you think you won’t be able to do perfectly, you may end up not doing them at all, or setting them aside for unimportant things.
But the question is – where does the habit of perfectionism come from? Often, perfectionism results from the belief that being good enough isn’t really good enough at all. Many people have experienced being rejected or unappreciated by their parents when they were still a child. They are those who have done their best in every endeavour but still receive remarks that make them feel they are not doing well enough.
Still, perfection is not pure evil. There are some things in life that demand being perfect. Examples are life-death situations. For example, if you are a surgeon, you can’t make any mistake, no matter how small or big, as it could put your patient’s life in the verge of death. If you are an architect, you can’t afford to make mistakes as well as the strength of the house or building you are working on will be affected, and that may endanger the lives of people who will live there. If you are the chief accountant of a company, just a single error in making computations can lead to massive financial loss. You can get fired and you might lose your license.
But again, not all endeavours require that you become perfect. It is important that we first make an evaluation of how ‘good enough’ our efforts should be. Maybe you want to do learn how to play the piano perfectly, bake a cake like celebrity chefs do, be a champion in the sport you’re in, speak a foreign language like a native speaker would do, and so on. There’s really nothing wrong with striving to be the “best”, but not to the extent that other areas of your life are being compromised.
Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D., who has written numerous articles in the fields of literature and psychology, shares one tip to know whether you are doing well enough. It is to determine if it is intrinsically satisfying to you. For instance, when playing a musical instrument, ask yourself – does your performance make you feel happy and at peace? Does it give you a deep sense of fun and enjoyment? Does it uplift your mood? Does it help you express your feelings? If yes, you are most probably doing “good” enough.
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