Dealing with the Pangs of Regret

Lisa Franchi May 18, 2015

Regrets. Most people have it. Lost opportunities and possibilities really give us a heartache, especially by the time we realise that it is too late to go back, or start all over again.

That is why most people would deny feelings of regrets. They’d deny experiencing it, even to themselves. Some choose to simply focus on the positive sides of their choices, justifying it and all the good intentions held. Very few people would choose expressing the raw, honest feelings of regrets. But hard as it may seem, dealing with regrets in an open and honest manner has always been the best route.

All of us go through a time in our life when we look back and see the consequences of our choices and the choices made for us. Whilst most of us have still have many years ahead of them to start over again, there are paths that they’d wish they haven’t taken in the first place.

Regrets are really difficult to deal with. They would often leave us feeling helpless, depressed, and unable to move forward. But a lot of times, the best way to deal with difficulties is to just go through them. At the end of the dark tunnel, there would be light for sure. Below are the best ways to deal with regrets.

Don’t overindulge. But don’t repress it either.

When it comes to regret, there are two things we usually do. We either overindulge or repress it. But both of these aren’t a healthy coping mechanism. When you overindulge, you make it really hard for yourself to move on and make a fresh new start. Yes, more like torturing yourself. When you repress it, everything else you do becomes burdensome as you try to fight the voice inside saying that you made the wrong choice. The more you pretend that nothing’s wrong, the more you feel hurt inside. And before you even realise it, your heart has already shut down. It may require a brave heart, but acknowledging your regrets is the first step towards a more beautiful beginning. Acknowledge your regrets. Face them. Feel them. Forgive yourself and the others. Rather than being a hostage of the past, choose to become the driver of your future.

Let regrets mould you into a better person.

If you keep thinking that regrets are the consequences of your wrong decisions, you will never learn. Like failures, regrets are bound to make you stronger, better and braver. So let them be. Let regret transform you. Sooner or later, you will thank the negative experiences you went through in life.

Don’t rush.

The bad feelings are normal. You just have to deal with them. Don’t rush yourself. Don’t fret about having to wait for long. The time will finally come that you will recover from your regrets and feel much better again.

You don’t have to do it alone.

You don’t have to go through the difficult moment alone. Speak with a trusted friend, talk to your partner, or if you are not comfortable with it, confide with a therapist.

It may be easier said than done. But you’ve just got will it. Reflect on the good and not-so-good journeys you have taken so far, the choices you made, and most of all, the insights gained. Because no matter how bad it has been, it gives you lessons that you will be thankful for.