Dating & Relationship: Does Age Really Matter?
It is very common for men to like women who are younger than they are, and for women to prefer men who are older than them. This notion is supported by the Parental Investment Theory, which states that men are attracted to women who advertise signs of youth whilst women are typically attracted to older men since they have greater resources.
What does research say?
Even until today, age preference is widely observed in many couples. Numerous studies have also provided evidence on such phenomenon, also called age differential effect. But one of the most interesting findings was that of the study presented by the researchers at Endicott College in Massachusetts. Here, psychologists John M. Kelley and Rebecca A. Malouf tested the age differential effect based on a different data source to yield more insight into the matter.
In their research, the researchers collected available ratings of blind dates from two popular American newspaper columns: “Dinner with Cupid” from The Boston Globe and “Date Lab” from The Washington Post. Both of these newspapers advertise for singles who are willing to provide a detailed report of their blind dates as well as a numerical rating in exchange for a free dinner. The Washington Post got a total of 224 blind dates whilst the Boston Globe got 123 blind dates.
To start with, the researchers compared the ratings of dates when the man was older than the woman, with the ratings of dates when the woman was older than the man. Surprisingly, the results showed that men gave lower ratings to dates when the man was older. Similarly, women also gave poor ratings on dates when the man was older than them. But overall, the age differences did not affect the ratings of the dates at a statistically significant level.
What do these findings lead to?
This study shows that even though it is common for men to like younger women, and vice versa, in practice, differences on age don’t actually have significant impact on a potential romantic affair, as much as physical attraction and compatibility do.
Does age matter to you?
Are you currently dating someone but you’re worried because of the age gap? As long as you’re in the right age and available, there’s really nothing wrong about dating someone who is older or younger than you are. Don’t make it hard for yourself by thinking “What if I fell in love? How would it ever work out?” Both of you are still on a “dating” stage – cross the bridge when you come to it. Rather, take the opportunity of time to know the other person better – his or her interests, personality type, hobbies, past experiences, lifestyle, etc. and assess if you are better fit for each other. There have been many successful relationships in which partners have huge age gap.
Now what if dating turns into something more? As mentioned in the study, most of the time, age doesn’t have a significant influence over a relationship. There are much more important things to consider which you should give plenty of time to think about. These include your goals in life. For instance, the older person may be on the look for settling down and having children whilst the younger person may just be starting a career or still trying to figure out his or her wants in life.
Whilst age doesn’t matter, maturity does. It is important that both partners agree to compromise. There should be understanding and acceptance of the differences in their interests, preferences and perspectives. Maturity provides couples an enhanced ability to control their emotions, successfully make joint decisions, work together towards their goals, and resolve conflicts as they arise. Maturity allows for better communication, trust and understanding. Whilst certain life experiences are fundamental to maturity, it is something that the couple can learn together. With the knowledge and skills, both partners can develop a more mature perspective about their relationship, regardless of their age.
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