Carrying Guilt Feelings? 4 Strategies to Feel Better

Sharon Moore July 24, 2014

Life’s not perfect. There’s no perfect human either. Sometimes we make things right, sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we make good decisions, other times we screw up. We all make mistakes and no matter how hard we try to avoid them, there’s always a chance of failure.

And when we make something wrong (especially to others), we often end up carrying a burden of guilt. And research shows that guilt can really make us feel physically weighed down.

Fortunately, we don’t have to dwell deeper into negative thoughts. There are some things we can do to lighten our guilt feelings. They include the following:

Write the guilt feelings down, and toss them out.

A 2013 study published in the journal Psychological Science suggests that to ease negative thoughts, we can physically throw them away. Yes, write them down in a sheet of paper and toss them into the trash bin. In the study, which was conducted by the Ohio State University, participants were asked to write their guilt thoughts down, and to read them back over and think about them after. Half of them were then asked to throw away those written thoughts in the trash, while the others were not instructed to throw away their thoughts and were instead asked to proof-read what they had written. Researchers found that for the students who were not asked to throw away their written thoughts on their self-body image, what they had written down seemed to have an effect on how they rated their body image afterward. For example, someone who wrote down a lot of positive thoughts about themselves were more likely to rate themselves higher on the body image scale.

Get your hands on your “to-do” list.

One good strategy to reduce the burden those guilt feelings bring is to get started completing the tasks in your “to-do” list. Many health experts suggest that procrastination may foster our underlying guilt. So if you don’t want those thoughts to keep playing over and over in your head, stop procrastinating. You can’t undo a mistake. What’s done is done.  You can, however, try to avoid repeating the same mistake in the future. So instead of emptying all your energy reserve ruminating about the mistake you did, spend it on improving yourself.

Look at the brighter side.

It’s easy to get stuck to negative thoughts when you are feeling guilty. But that don’t do you any good. It simply aggravates your feelings. Whilst it can be difficult, there are ways to reframe our thinking and favour positive thoughts more. In a 2013 interview with Oprah Winfrey, author and University of Houston professor Brené Brown explained that we can not only overcome feelings of guilt and shame, we can use them as a catalyst for compassion for yourself and others. "Shame depends on me buying into the belief that I’m alone," she said. "It cannot survive empathy." Adopting an optimistic mentality can also boost your mood, making you feel happier and lighter overall. All it takes is a little shift in your outlook.

Practise compassion.

Want to feel better? Volunteer to a charity work. Volunteering, or simply being there for a friend, is another way to improve your mood and look at the brighter side of life. Practising compassion has been shown by numerous researches to boost happiness and achieve peace of mind – something you can’t get when you are stuck on guilt feelings.

When those guilt feelings struck you, consider doing any of these strategies and be amazed of how it can make you feel better.