Breaking Free from Self-Criticism

Sharon Moore April 01, 2015

For some of us, self-criticism is a way of life. We listen more to our inner critical voices than the good ones. And without knowing it, self-criticism spoils are enthusiasm and saps our energy. It makes us belittle ourselves and discourage us from unleashing our true potential.

So how do you break free from self-criticism? Here are simple strategies to try:

Realise that these negative voices are normal. But they aren’t always true.

Our brain is hardwired to favour negative thoughts, as it is built with greater sensitivity to unpleasant news. Scientists call this phenomenon the “negativity bias”. And don’t take it wrong. Our capacity to put more weight on negative input evolved for a good reason – to protect us from potential threats. But these days, we need a little less of negative bias compared with what our ancestors needed during those times. So instead of helping, letting your negative voices affect you does more harm than good. Whilst negative thoughts are normal, they are not always true. Perhaps you often hear your inner voice saying you can’t ever make it, you are not good enough, or you will never be successful. How true are these things? Even your brain could not predict what will happen in the future.

Look at your strengths before your weaknesses.

All of us have strengths and weaknesses. But before you think about your flaws and imperfections, consider your strong points first. The concept may seem novel. You might think it is a way of making an excuse for your weaknesses. But actually, by focusing on your strengths first and building on them, you can tackle your weaknesses more effectively.

Consider other people’s feedback.

You may think that the dish you cooked doesn’t taste good. But for others, it could be the best they’ve tasted so far. Too often, others notice our strengths and accomplishments more than we do. So before you throw that idea into the trash bin, consider other people’s judgment. You can learn from their feedback, and be more inspired with their encouragement and praise.

Cultivate gratitude.

Look around you – what are the things that you are thankful for? On a piece of paper, write down ten things that you appreciate in your life. Being grateful is one of the best ways to shut down your inner critical voice. Being grateful boosts your self-esteem, replenishes your lost energy, and nourishes your soul.

Try out any or all of these ideas to break free from being controlled by your inner critical voice. It is all about being aware that they exist, acknowledging them, and also realising that they are not always true. Furthermore, you can shut down those inner voices by building on your strengths, considering other people’s judgment, and cultivating gratitude. These are great ideas to try. But you don’t need to do them all at once. Starting with one or two is the best way to go. As they say, you can always take the baby steps.