Arguing Can Be Good for Your Relationship

Fiona Howard October 17, 2011

Arguing is not all evil as it is popularly known to be. You may feel really upset after a fight with your partner, and you may want to sulk in the corner and depress yourself some more by staying angry. Then eventually, you may rethink the value of the relationship based on the number of fights you have had.

Stop worrying about how often you and your partner are arguing. According to research at the University of Michigan, arguing actually helps relieve tension and eases the body from stress. Researcher Kira Birditt of the Institute for Social Research at the University of Michigan also reported that how we feel on a daily basis is significantly influenced by the relationships that we have, especially the problems that we deal with. But how is it possible that arguing can do these benefits for the body? Read on to find out.

The Good Effects of Arguing

It is through arguing that you and your partner get to know more about each other. For instance, if not for that fight you had last night, you may never know that your loved one actually gets offended by even just the tiniest hint of sarcasm in a joke. Or if not for the disagreement you started this afternoon about your partner making innocent fun out of your cleaning habits, s/he wouldn’t know that you are sensitive when it comes to being criticized. Once you realize that you have offended your partner or the around way around, the best thing to do is talk it over. You do not need to have a night-long fight over facts about yourself that were exposed during an argument.

Arguing can help you be more open to your partner. Do not think that your relationship is already headed for a permanent downfall whenever you argue. If your partner has a habit that really annoys you, be upfront and tell him/her about it. Do not let your resentments pile up only to explode one day, much to the shock of your clueless partner. Is something about your partner stressing you out? Open it up. It is a fair action toward your loved one when you let the person know early on what makes you upset.

Arguing teaches you to value what really matters in a relationship. When the discussion gets too heated up, both of you may want to throw out more cards in the open just to win. Alas, if your goal in an argument is to win, it is already a lost cause. Winning should never be the ultimate goal in a relationship. An argument ensues because there is an inconsistency with your beliefs and your loved one’s. The key here is to realize that understanding is more important than winning. And if you do get too stubborn and insist on winning, what good would it do? Your partner would just resent you, and this is definitely not what you want. In an argument between couples, let the other person know that yes, you are upset, but that you are still listening to what s/he has to say.

The next time you find yourself in an argument with your sweetie, do not get disappointed over the fact that you fighting yet again. Think of these three good effects of arguing, and you will never view arguing in the same way again.