Addressing and Resolving Negative Feelings

Rebecca Lewis February 18, 2015

We all experience negative emotions from time to time. But not being able to address them effectively can greatly hurt our mental health in the long run, and increase our risk of developing mental illnesses like depression, anxiety disorder and more.

We shouldn’t deny these feelings, nor should we ignore them. The best way to deal with unwanted emotions is to acknowledge them and try to figure out what they are trying to tell us. There are several ways to positively express and resolve negative feelings. Here are some of the most effective:

Identify what they really are.

So you’re feeling uneasy. Why? What specific emotions are you experiencing right now? Is it anger? Sadness? Annoyance? Disappointment? Frustration? After labelling your feelings, the next thing to do is to figure out why. Why are you feeling angry, sad or frustrated? Identifying the negative emotions you are experiencing is the initial step towards a positive resolution.

Put them in a proper context.

Placing your feelings in the proper context is essential if you want to have them addressed properly. Take time to analyse why you arrived to that emotion. So you are angry because your partner didn’t show up on Valentine’s Day. He didn’t even send a message to greet you. Be specific about the cause of your anger. And never go deeper into the past and ruminate about the things your partner did in that past that disappointed you. It will never help you express what you are feeling at the moment.

Let the concerned person know what you feel.

If you choose to shut your mouth and don’t tell the person concerned what is really bothering you about what he/she did, you could end up doing gestures that they will be clueless about, or being cold to them. And they will wonder why. It is okay to confront them and express how you feel. Doing so leads to understanding and reconciliation. But don’t allow your negative feelings to take control. Speak with maturity. Express to let them understand you, not to blame or attack them.

Be open to feedback.

So you have raised your point. You’ve explained your side. You’ve told them what made you angry or frustrated. Communication is a two-way process. It’s not enough that you express and tell them what you feel. You should also hear what they have to say. Their feedback could magically change how you feel and how you looked at the situation. Maybe the reason why your partner didn’t show up that day or called you because something urgent came up. You will never know what the real reason is until you probe.

Re-evaluate your feelings.

After hearing the other person’s explanation, it’s time that you re-evaluate your feelings. How are you feeling now? Did the unwanted emotion subside or did it not? If yes, congratulations. You just resolved something that not all people are able to deal with properly. But if the negative emotions are still there, don’t worry. Just start right back at step number one.

Dealing with negative emotions can be a challenge. But you can learn to master it over time. And when you do, you will find it the most valuable trait that can make you overcome any challenge that will come to your life.