8 Signs You’re Still Not Ready for a Romantic Relationship

Sharon Moore January 10, 2014

Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you are ready for it already. Preparing for a romantic relationship could mean changing some of your habits and perceptions in life. By knowing your limitations, you can take action today to prepare yourself for a better, happier relationship.

Here are 8 signs that you’re not yet ready to enter a romantic relationship.

You think you own the other person. The relationship that binds two romantic partners together doesn’t allow any of them to ‘own’ the other. “You are mine” sounds very romantic. But using the words “mine” or “my” as a sense of ownership is a risky business.

You don’t welcome negative feedback. When your partner does have ‘not-so-good’ comments on you, you either walk away or start a fight. Being open to feedback and constructive criticism is essential to the success of a romantic relationship. You need to work together to resolve issues and improve your relationship.

You need a partner to feel happy. Having this mindset will make you become a ‘needy’ person, which could cause so many problems in your relationship. Loving is about finding someone you can share your happiness with. When you find the one, more happiness will come.

You need someone to save you. If you have insecurity issues, then you need to get that taken care of first before you enter a romantic relationship. Otherwise, you might end up being with a partner who has the ‘saviour complex’ or someone who has the same issues with you. This sparks codependency which could lead to a dysfunctional relationship.

You haven’t moved on from the past. If you think finding another person to love will heal the wounds your past relationship has brought you, think again. Whilst it does work sometimes, it isn’t always the case. It is necessary, that you allow yourself to get through the emotional healing completely. Don’t rush things. Time will come that you will be more than ready to close that painful chapter in your life and be ready for a fresh new beginning.

You always deny your flaws. Something goes wrong. What would you do? Many people would resort to finding something or someone to blame other than themselves. Then, they will set up a wall of defences so the blame doesn’t bounce back to them. This approach is one of the most common causes of breakup. If you want to have a lasting relationship, be ready to face conflicts with responsibility. Know that with every problem, you also have a role to play. Blaming each other doesn’t lead to solutions, but further conflicts. Be more than willing to say ‘sorry’ as much as you are willing to forgive.

You say ‘yes’ but you do the opposite thing. To avoid arguments, you simply agree with whatever your partner says. But then, you proceed with what you really had in mind. You don’t have any intention to keep the promise. You just want to end the conversation ASAP. This, obviously, has dangerous consequences. Aside from the big possibility of losing emotional connection, you would appear more like a liar to your partner.

You can’t say ‘no’ to your friends. Refusing to scale back from your social life in favour of your partner could mean that you are not ready yet. Of course you don’t need to leave all your friends behind. You shouldn’t! You must also give time for them. It’s just that being in a romantic relationship means letting go of some other commitments.