6 Ways Mentally Strong People Handle Defeat

Lisa Franchi June 18, 2015

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We all want to experience the thrill of victory, but never the agony of defeat. Losing is one of the hardest moments in life, and sometimes, it takes months and years to recover from the pain it brings. Whether it’s losing a game, a job, an opportunity or a relationship – defeat brings us a great deal of emotional turmoil.

And sadly, no one is ever pool-proof from experiencing defeat. As a popular song goes “Even the best fall down sometimes”. We all go through the process of trying and failing, losing and succeeding. What is important is that we get something valuable out of every experience – good or bad.

If you are afraid of facing defeat or don’t know how to handle it, it can be helpful to look at others, particularly mentally strong people, deal with the agony of defeat. We can surely learn from and be inspired by them.

They understand that failure is part of success.

It may sound counterintuitive but the truth is, failure is part of the journey to success. Every failure puts you one step closer to success. So don’t be discouraged if at your first try you already failed, or during the course of your battle you have been defeated. Mentally strong people don’t take it negatively. In fact, they take failure wholeheartedly because they know it means that success is near.

They see opportunities with every failure.

Defeat doesn’t mean you’ve come to the end of the road. You might just see another path, you just have to take a good look.  Like what happened to John and Will Kellog. They were simply trying to make a pot of boiled grain when they left the pot on the stove for several days. The mixture then told mouldy but the grain became thick and dry. Later, they devised a way to get rid of the mould. And now we have corn flakes.

They keep their eye on the prize.

Mentally strong people aren’t easily discouraged by defeat. Failure, along with negative feedback and discouragement don’t prevent them from moving forward and trying once again. What makes them so resilient? Nothing. They just keep their eye on the prize. Sure there are setbacks, roadblocks and a few bumps along the way. But as long as you focus on achieving your goals, there isn’t mountain too high and river too wide.

They give it their best each time.

Mentally strong people reduce the likelihood of failure by doing their best each time. But even if they did their best already and failed, they still don’t feel too bad about it because they know they wouldn’t go through the phase of wondering “what if” and “only if”. When all else fails, they go back to number one principle: failure is part of success.

They don’t give up.

Mentally strong people stay in the game for as long as it needs to be successful. The only time failure becomes a failure is when you quit. Remember the popular poem written by Clinton Howell? Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.

They chase for the lesson.

Everything has a purpose, so they say. No matter how bad a situation is, it happens for a purpose. Failures are not intended to simply make life difficult. They are here to teach us lessons. Rather than focusing on the failure itself, focus on what happened. What went wrong? There are surely worthwhile insights to learn and apply in the future.

Defeat is tormenting. But only when you don’t see its real purpose. So don’t be afraid to experience defeat. Rather, face it with courage and open arms. Again, it is part of your journey to success.