6 Key Steps to Master Your Fears

Sharon Moore June 16, 2014

We all have fears. Whether it’s of spiders, snakes and other fierce creatures, or of taking risks and loving once again, fear is among the most unpleasant emotions we can experience. It doesn’t just give us physical pang (such as anxiety, upset stomach, cold sweat, etc.); it is also serves as one big barrier that keeps us from pursuing our dreams and chasing happiness.

The good news is – there are several ways to master our fear. Here they are:

Acknowledge it.

Overcoming your fears start with acknowledging it. Research from a team of UCLA psychologists found that putting feelings into words produces therapeutic effects in the brain. That is, acknowledging that ‘there is fear’ and that you really experience it can minimise the anxiety you feel about it.

Face it. Experience it.

Sounds weird? But this one really works. For you to master your fear, you’ve got to have the courage to face it over and over again. You’ve got to give yourself many chances to feel the discomfort of doing that something your fear the most. As you do this, you will realise that fear is always worse in your mind than when you actually experience it. You will gain confidence of doing things you thought you could never do.

Take baby steps when you’re learning to master your fears. If you are afraid of speaking in public, learn to face it by starting conversations with one or two colleagues, participating in group discussions, online forums and the like; and increasing your social interaction especially with new people.

Know your inner fears. Be mindful.

To effectively face your fears in the outer world, you must first learn to master your fears in your inner world. For instance, if you fear meeting new people, try to determine why you have developed such fear. It could be a sad childhood experience that triggers your brains’ fight or flight system whenever you interact with others.

But how do you address your inner fears? Practise mindfulness. Give yourself at least 10-15 minutes a day to connect with your mind, body and spirit. Pay attention to your senses and to your thought patterns and feelings. Know what you are feeling in such very moment.

Keep breathing.

Do you notice that whenever you are afraid, breathing gets harder? That’s just one of the many physical symptoms of fear. Uncontrolled breathing can exacerbate the anxiety that fear comes with, so make sure you are conscious of it. Whenever fear starts to linger, pause and breathe mindfully. Try to make the exhalation just a little bit longer. Notice how it calms your body, eases tension, and makes you feel more relaxed.

Visualise a positive outcome.

You probably heard of an old advice that involves visualising the worst possible scenario to realise that it’s not really that frightening. That strategy works, but only when you also think of ways to overcome possible problems. This new tip however, requires you to do the opposite. With practice, you will be able to train your mind to favour positive thoughts over the negative. By believing that the end result will be okay, you will gain more confidence to face your fears, and therefore, you will have better chances of overcoming it. For example, if you are tasked to speak in front of other people, visualise yourself delivering a speech that positively impacts your audience. When you are able to visualise a positive outcome out of a situation that brings you fear, you will find yourself actually doing it full of courage.

Make a journal of your progress.

The process of overcoming your fear is not going to be an easy one. Neither will it be a straight path. You’ll have victories and setbacks. There will be ups and downs. Writing down your thoughts and feelings gives perspective. It also reduces your stress and gives you more courage to conquer your other fears.

Don’t let your fears stop you from being happy and doing things you really want. You can do something to master your fear. It may take a while, but the outcome is really worth the effort. The time will come that you will be able to overcome the fears that are holding you back.