5 Things Happy People Do (that Unhappy People Don’t)
Gone are the days when humans worry about how to overcome predators in the forest. Nowadays, the concern has dramatically shifted from self-preservation to self-growth. That is – how to make life more worth living. In a study involving over 10,000 people in 48 countries, psychologists at University of Illinois and University of Virginia found that people from every corner of the globe rated happiness as more important than any desirable personal outcomes, such as becoming rich, getting into heaven and having meaning in life.
Because of the overflowing research on positive psychology, people are starting to understand that happiness is not just about money, fame or success. It is more than the influx of positive experiences, but feelings of contentedness and peace of mind. True happiness is something that lasts for longer and not just a sudden boost in mood.
There’s no precise formula for it. But scientific studies have pinpointed plenty of ways to help us achieve genuine and lasting happiness. For decades, scientists have followed thousands of happy individuals around the world and found that aside from being compassionate, there are other things these people do differently. Here they are:
Happy people have the courage to take risks. Truly happy people know that being happy is not just about sticking to habits that they like or they normally do, but also trying out things they’ve never done before – although in a bigger sense, it makes them anxious and feel uncomfortable. In a study conducted by Colorado State University in 2007, participants who frequently felt curious on a given day and engaged in happiness-inducing activities (such as volunteering to community works and giving a ‘thank-you’ notes to others) had the highest level of satisfaction in life. Whilst it is true that stepping out of their comfort zone produces anxiety, happy people understand that it is also the way towards being wiser and stronger, and a door to endless opportunities for self-growth.
They are less sceptical than others. One big criticism on happy people is their being ‘not realistic’. Psychologist Joseph Forgas of University of New South Wales found that optimistic, happy people are less sceptical than their downbeat colleagues. They are less analytical and detail-oriented, which makes them more prone to lies and deceit. Whilst being critical and attentive is a good defensive tool against the threats and dangers in our social circle, too much of them could interfere with our day to day functioning. That’s according to Kate Harkness, a psychologist at Queen’s University. Her study suggests that people in a depressed mood were more likely to notice (and therefore get affected by) minute changes in facial expressions whilst happy people tend to overlook them. Happy people have a natural emotional protection against the destructive effects of little details, such as a sarcastic grin from a colleague.
Happy people are surrounded by true friends. Most of us are surrounded with people we call ‘friends’. But the quality of the relationship we have with them is much more important than the number of friends we have. According to a survey by the Gallup World Poll, the biggest predictor of happiness at work is whether people have a friend they can call for support. Having someone to support us during difficult situations make us endure such circumstances much better. But the meaning of friendship doesn’t end there. Happy people are also great friends. Aside from sympathising with their sufferings, they also rejoice over their friends’ successes. Researchers from University of California found that romantic partners who fail to make a big deal out of each other’s success are more bound to break up, whereas those who celebrate each others’ success are more likely to have an enjoyable and satisfying relationship. Just as we feel happier after donating to charity or giving a gift to a friend, we are also bound to feel glad when we listen to a friend’s stories of success and victory.
Happy people know that life is not perfect. Flourishing happy people allow negative emotions to occur without trying to suppress them or hide them somewhere else. That’s because they know that such undesirable emotions aren’t strong enough to hinder them from being happy. Genuinely happy people understand that life can be full of disappointments and the only way to overcome them is to deal with them. Whilst negative emotions bring them discomfort, they know how to tolerate it as they have the special ability of modifying their behaviour to meet the demands of the situation. Psychologists call it ‘psychological flexibility’.
They know how to balance pleasure and purpose. A life lived on purpose is a life well lived. But that doesn’t mean to say that we should forgo small things that give us momentary pleasure – such as taking a long, leisurely bath, going to the spa, walking the dog, hanging out with friends, shopping, or cuddling with our kids. On the other hand, if we put so much emphasis on these temporary indulgences, we may miss to achieve greater things that could get us to long-term happiness and help us uncover our real purpose. Life without balance can lead to stress and lack of fulfilment. So it’s always a smart move to keep an eye on both the pleasure and purpose aspects of life.
The pursuit for happiness is everybody’s business. Incorporating these things in our life is most likely to positively affect our well-being and bring us one step closer to genuine happiness.
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