5 Key Ways to Increasing Your Emotional Intelligence

Sharon Moore January 07, 2013

In terms of happiness, success and wellbeing, your emotional intelligence matters just as much as your intellectual ability. Most commonly known as EQ, emotional intelligence is critical in building relationships, achieving your career and personal goals, and being mentally and physically healthy. In fact, many people consider having high EQ as much more important than a high IQ.

The following are the key tips in increasing your emotional intelligence:

Learn how to manage negative emotions

The first (and probably the most important) way to improve your emotional intelligence is to learn how to manage negative emotions. Every one of us experiences a bad day. Whether or not we have problems, there are moments when we don’t feel good – mentally and emotionally. Negative emotions, when managed, can actually strengthen our emotional being. But if you don’t know how to control them, such thoughts might reflect in your action.

Daniel Amen, a neuroscientist, developed a strategy to control our negative feelings. He called it ‘Killing our Automatic Negative Thoughts’ (ANT) Therapy. It includes examining the nature of your negative experiences and relating them in such a way to reduce our negative thoughts.

Learn to recognise and manage your stressors

Don’t be too harsh on yourself. The more stressed you are, the more vulnerable you become to life’s difficulties. A very important aspect of improving your emotional intelligence is being able to recognise stress triggers and manage them. Practise meditation, yoga and other relaxation techniques. Set an appointment with a professional therapist who can teach you how to beat stress. Engage in a new sport, learn how to cook a new dish, and meet new people. These things will greatly relieve your stress.

Be mindful.

Self-awareness is critical to improving your emotional intelligence. Finding yourself is an enlightening journey that takes time and effort. But once you achieve self-awareness, you increase your understanding of yourself and of the things around you. Once you know yourself, you begin to learn how to recognise your emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behaviour.

Be optimistic.

You can never improve your emotional intelligence if you are not optimistic. Studies show that optimistic people tend to be happier and successful in life. Optimism is a powerful tool that connects you to better and larger opportunities. So how do you harness optimism? Identify your strengths and appreciate them. View hardships as challenges that will make you stronger. Laugh out loud and improve your sense of humour. Recognise your flaws and accept them.

Be open-minded.

According to experts, a narrow mind is an indication of a low EQ. Do not be afraid to learn new things and open yourself to new ideas and insights. Be curious. Talk to different people. Communication is a great way to expand your horizon. When your mind is open, it becomes easier to deal with conflicts and challenges in life.

Dear Readers,

As therapists, what is the best advice you can give to those who want to improve their emotional intelligence?

Share your comments below.