5 Important Things Your Therapist Want You to Know

Sharon Moore July 29, 2015

Many people undergo therapy for different reasons. Some seek therapy to address stress issues, frustrations, anger, addiction, trauma, phobia, relationship and behavioural problems, and many others. Therapists are trained mental health professionals who are equipped with the skills and expertise to address varying mental health concerns that often affect our quality of life.

Once you enter therapy, you also enter a unique relationship with your therapist. If you’re thinking about undergoing counselling or psychotherapy, there are a few things that your therapist would most likely want you to know, but won’t tell you straight. So let these pointers serve as your guide.

I need you to trust me.

Trusting someone who you haven’t known for so long can be really hard. You wouldn’t always confide to a friend, what more to a person you just met once or twice, right? While you may have doubts on whether a therapist can help you or not, remember that they are trained to handle your concern. They are trained to help you deal with your personal issues, even though they don’t know you too well. Research has shown over again that the client-therapist relationship is highly important to the success of the treatment. If you don’t feel heard and understood by your therapist, or if you don’t feel an amazing connection to them, find a new one. Without the trust and confidence, therapy is not going to work, regardless of the background and experience of your therapist.

You must be ready to help yourself.

Healing begins the moment you realise the need to help yourself. Even though you have the best therapist in front of you, you are less likely to get the result you want if you have not made a firm decision yet to deal with your struggles. Therapists can only take you so far. They are here to help you navigate through life’s difficulties independently, equip you with the skills and strategies to handle your problems, and give you a different perspective on things. But at the end of the day, it is up to you to decide whether to incorporate what you’ve learned in your life or continue with your old ways and allow yourself to be carried away by the things that cause you mental and emotional pain.

Don’t be afraid to narrate the difficult moments.

You may find yourself feeling uncomfortable about it, but to get the best of the therapy, you need to open up to your therapist. You may be asked to talk about your childhood, your past relationships, your hobbies and interest, the things you dislike, and all sorts of things. There might come a point wherein you have to narrate some of the most painful or saddest moments in your life. But don’t think that your therapist is doing this just because they want you to relive the pain or make you suffer. In school, therapists study different mental health issues, their nature and causes, as well as the styles and methodologies to treat people. But they need to learn about your condition from you. Every client is unique, and therefore, you may need a different therapy approach. Be assured however that whatever it is that you are confiding to your therapist, it will strictly remain between you and him/her only.

I am not always in my best.

Like you, therapists are humans too. While they have dedicated most of their life studying human behaviour and helping people correct their behavioural issues, improve their relationships, and find happiness, they are not prone to experiencing negative emotions. Just like everyone else, they get sad, angry and frustrated from time to time. They are unable to concentrate when their child gets sick or someone in the family is not okay. But professional therapists try their best to leave their problems outside the therapy room. They may even take a break for a few weeks to recharge and restore their focus. So the next time, they can be there for you without you having to worry about them.

I deeply care about you.

Your therapist may maintain a strict boundary between their profession and personal life, but that doesn’t mean they don’t care about you. Good therapists practise “unconditional positive regard” which means they accept and respect you without judgement. It is what makes them effective in what they do.

Therapy is a great venue to deal with the things you struggle with, from unhealthy habits to relationship troubles, trauma and grief. But for it to work, it is important that you establish a good relationship with your therapist. The one that is built on trust and confidence.