15 Things That Ruin Your Sex Life

Sharon Moore June 12, 2013

For many people, sex drive is like a roller coaster ride. One second you’re up, another second you’re down. Well, there are plenty of factors that affect our sexual desire. Here is a compilation of the most common things that could ruin your sex life.

Relationship Issues

Among the top sex drive killers is relationship problems. Of course, no partner would be in the ‘mood’ when he or she is mad at the other. Reaching out with your partner and tackling issues as they arrive is critical for a happy romantic relationship. Try not to let the night pass without resolving conflicts between you and your partner.

Poor Sleep

Anything that messes with a good night sleep also messes with sex. Sleep deprivation leads to poor energy, fatigue and stress. And when you are experiencing all these things, the last thing that would probably enter your mind is sex. Check with your doctor if you have sleeping disorders such as insomnia or sleep apnoea. Having a regular bedtime schedule, exercising in the morning, proper diet, and aromatherapy all help in promoting good sleep.

Medication

There are drugs that could reduce a person’s sex drive. They include blood pressure medications, chemotherapy and anti-HIV drugs, birth control pills, and antidepressants. Switching drugs or doses may help tackle this issue but it is always recommended to consult your doctor first.

Obesity

There are plenty of reasons why obesity could lead to low sex drive. It may be because it hinders a person from performing well in bed or it reduces self-esteem. Obese people tend to have poorer stamina which is basically important for a satisfying sex.

Low Testosterone

In men, the T hormone fuels sex drive. As men age, their testosterone levels drop a bit. However, this does not always lead to reduced libido. But low testosterone could cause undesirable symptoms such as erectile dysfunction which slashes a man’s confidence to have sex.

Menopause

For many women, sex drive dims as they reach the menopausal stage. This is probably because of the symptoms that plague them, such as mood swings, vaginal dryness, and sex during pain. But then again, there are women whose sex lives are still thriving even during menopause. Most of the time, they are the ones who give high importance to their health.

Lack of Intimacy

There are couples who you wouldn’t notice that they are couples until they tell you. Lack of closeness and communication does not just spoil sex desire but could also trigger other conflicts that may lead to breakup or separation. If lack of closeness is your issue, try to find ways to express love without involving sex. Maybe you can travel together, talk about different things, snuggle, play a sport together, etc. When closeness is there, a satisfying sex comes next.

Depression

Being depressed can make a person feel disinterested on many things in life, including sex. It is important to seek appropriate therapy right away. Just like lack of intimacy, depression does not just impact a couple’s sex life but everything else in their relationship.

Erectile Problems

Men suffering from erectile dysfunction often worry about how they will perform in bed so they choose not to have sex at all. But most of the time, this problem is treatable. There are plenty of treatments that can keep this problem from affecting a relationship.

Poor Body Image

Poor self image affects a woman or a man’s desire for sex as it takes away their confidence. Work on accepting your body as it is today even if you are in the process of improving your physical shape or appearance. Feeling good about yourself is a big factor that puts you in the mood for sex.

Having Kids

This does not directly affect a couple’s sex life of course but having less time together could. Consider hiring a babysitter once in awhile so you can have some intimate time with your spouse. Or, schedule ‘loving’ time when kids are in school or when the lights are out already.

Alcohol

Don’t think that alcohol can turn you on. In most cases, it does nothing but numb your sex drive. It’s okay to have a shot of wine every night as part of your health regimen. But more than the recommended alcohol intake is not going to help.

Stress

Who doesn’t get stressed? We all have our own stressors to face. Learning how to handle them is the trick. Don’t forget to give yourself a little ‘me’ time to relax and engage in enjoyable activities. When you are not stressed, you are more likely to be eager for sex.

Boredom

Doing the same thing over and over again leads to boredom and lack of desire to have sex. Maybe it’s time to be adventurous and try something different. Just make sure to gain consensus. Both of you should love what you are doing. Otherwise, it aggravates the problem.

Poor Health

Your body and your mind are connected. When you are healthy, you are more likely to experience positive mood on a regular basis (which helps turn your sexual drive on). If you’re ill, sex may not be a good option. Thus, making sure you and your partner are healthy is critical to a satisfying romantic life. Eating properly, exercising, not smoking, and getting quality sleep are some of the most essential lifestyle habits you should follow. 

Can you share more tips? Feel free to post a comment below.