10 Signs You’re Emotionally Intelligent

Rebecca Lewis December 09, 2013

Intelligence and creativity are no doubt important to success. But emotional intelligence is equally important as well – not just in our journey to success but also towards lasting happiness. But how do you know if you are scoring high on emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence, as described by Professor John D. Mayer of the University of New Hampshire and Peter Salovey, Provost of Yale University, is the ‘capacity to reason about emotions and emotional information, and of emotions to enhance thought’. According to them, people with high emotional intelligence (EI) are better at solving a variety of emotion-related problems accurately and quickly. Also, they know how to use emotional episodes in their lives to promote a healthy way of thinking. What’s more, these people know how to manage their own emotions and that of others too.

Here are 10 signs that you are emotionally intelligent:

You know what your strengths and weaknesses are. A crucial part of self-awareness is to understand who you are – knowing where you excel and where you don’t. According to Daniel Goleman, psychologist and author of “Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence”, this awareness breeds the strong self-confidence that’s a main factor of emotional intelligence.

When you’re feeling down, you know exactly why. People with high EQ are not afraid to experience negative emotions because they are confident that they can handle it effectively. Why? It’s because they have a clear knowledge of why they are feeling that way.

You’re curious as a cat. Emotionally intelligent people are fond of meeting new people. They are very curious about strangers and are genuinely interested in learning more about others. This curiosity helps them cultivate ‘empathy’, characterised by being attuned to the needs and feelings of others. Empathy, in turn, increases their emotional intelligence even more.

You’re good at paying attention. People with high EQ are not easily distracted by tweets, Facebook notifications and other kinds of distraction because they understand that it keeps them from functioning at an emotionally intelligent level.

You make friends with others easily. Because they are good at managing their emotions and the emotions of others, emotionally intelligent people find it easy to connect with others and make friends with them. Having fulfilling, effective relationships is a sign of emotional intelligence, according to Goleman.

You love reaching out to others. Paying attention to others, whether it’s simply smiling at a stranger or helping an old woman cross the street, is a manifestation of emotional intelligence. Being mindful helps you cultivate compassion for others, which in turn makes your life happier and more meaningful.

You bounce back after every fall. One of the best traits of people with high EQ is that they effectively overcome setbacks. That is, they have a high degree of resilience. This streams from different factors, including optimism, gratefulness and ability to identify emotions and their causes.

You follow your intuition. These people feel comfortable at following their instincts, especially when in the middle of stressful and confusing situations.

You know when to say “no”. People with high EQ have greater sense of self-control. They don’t fall into temptations easily, so they are more likely to maintain a healthy lifestyle. They also know when to say “no” to other people so they are less prone to being emotionally abused.

You are a good leader. Great leaders have one thing in common – they possess high levels of emotional intelligence. In his research comparing individuals with senior leadership roles with those who were merely average, Goleman found that close to 90 percent of the difference in their profiles was due to emotional intelligence, rather than cognitive ability.

Cultivating your emotional intelligence is one great step towards a healthier, successful and happier future. What’s more, it can also strengthen your relationship with friends, family and everyone else around you.