10 Rules for Keeping Healthy Relationships

Lisa Franchi January 28, 2014

What makes and keeps a relationship healthy? Kind of an easy question but is often hard to answer. Well, these 10 important rules may give us a clue.

Men and women are very different. Whilst each couple may share a lot of common interests and hobbies, they are completely different from each other. Understanding and celebrating these differences is one way to make the relationship fun and healthy.

Anger is a relationship killer. Anger is dangerous to a relationship because it makes a person self-absorbed and less likely to comprehend things in a logical and open manner. Anger causes misunderstandings, which could lead to more serious conflicts. It also induces ‘blame game’ – a kind of argument that never ends. When confronted with issues, it is necessary that each of you calms down first and talk when your heart is no longer full of anger and is open to listen.

Romantic partners are also best friends. Long-term couples treat each other as ‘best friends’ too. When you have a best friend, you don’t do anything that could make him or feel down. You also support your best friend on his or her personal endeavours. Being lovers and best friends at the same time brings more fun and satisfaction to a relationship.

Successful relationships take work (a lot of work). Like a special dish that has been perfected for years, a great relationship takes a lot of work, and trials and errors. It’s not just about the ingredients but also the way the dish is cooked. Successful relationships don’t happen overnight. It happens when both partners take risks of sharing what’s going on in their hearts and minds, and accepting each other’s strengths and weaknesses wholeheartedly.

Sweetness is vital. Being together gives couples the opportunity to sweeten and deepen their relationship even further. Marriage should not end the sweetness. Knowing that you are cherished, respected, loved and cared for each day makes any relationship stronger and happier.

You’re partner can’t make you happy. You, alone, are responsible for your happiness. No other person can make you happy if you don’t let yourself be. Thinking that your partner is the only source of your happiness could make you needy, which is unhealthy for your relationship. Remember, you don’t find someone to love to be happy, but to share the happiness with.

You can’t just change a person. You can influence your partner or ask him or her to change. But the decision is his or hers to make. If you want changes, put them on the table so your significant other will know.

Quality time, like sweetness, is crucial too. Happy couples know that there is no substitute for quality time shared together. When you make a point of being together (without the kids, pets and other interruptions), you strengthen the bond that keeps you closer to each other.

Not every problem can be solved. Rather than waste energy by arguing, agree to disagree, and attempt to compromise or to work around the issue. A healthy relationship is one where both partners are able to work a problem out, through a compromise and with lots of respect.

Communicate. Lack of communication is one of the leading causes of breakup. When partner communicate, they are able to understand each other, make a deeper connection, show their concern, avoid arguments and ‘cold wars’, and overcome issues as they come.

Following these rules is easier said than done. It may take time, and a lot of efforts. But then again, these rules are so worth the try.